5 Year Anniversary

5 years ago today we moved from Tulare to St George Utah. Just because it’s easier to look in the rear view mirror after life has happened, if I had to do it over again I would have waited another year. I would have worked longer and given myself more time to adjust. There were reasons we did it when we did but it was so rushed. I lost Randy, retired from a job I loved, sold my house of 25 years, bought a house and left my hometown of almost my whole life to move out of state all within 15 months. My words of advice to anyone contemplating many big changes in a short time: don’t do it. Take it slower. One big life change is difficult to adjust to, three is nothing other than insanity.

The first couple of years were really hard for me. I asked myself many times “what the hell did I do?” If it wasn’t such a nightmare to move (my experience was a literal nightmare) I probably would have moved back to California, just probably not specifically Tulare. My daughter, Erin was more optimistic about things than I was so that did help a great deal. But here I am 5 years later. It’s gone by so fast. There are so many things I love about this area; it’s beautiful, it’s safe, it’s not overly busy and it’s clean. People are, for the most part, friendly. I love my house; my favorite part is the view. But I miss my daughter and other family and friends. I miss knowing how to get around without using Google Maps. I miss the diversity. I miss the years and years of memories with my parents and with Randy that were everywhere in Tulare. (You take memories with you I know but you lose a piece of them behind when you move away).

I added up that I’ve been back to Tulare and the coast (where my oldest lives) 13 times which is a lot. That doesn’t include the times I’ve had family and a few friends visit here. I love being close to my other grandkids. I’m lucky I get to see them quite a bit. I know that would have been a huge loss for me if I wasn’t closer. But Utah is different. I hope my Utah born and raised friends aren’t offended but you would notice it if you lived somewhere different. Utah has some frustrating laws and the culture is very different; I’ll just leave it at that. With all that being said I’ll try and list some of the things I’ve done in the last five years. Some of these could have happened regardless of where I lived:

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• *Learned to play pickleballl; not very well, but I’m plugging along. I have made some friends and it provides some exercise and fun but nothing is without some negative experiences; isn’t that pretty much everything in life? So far the good outweighs the bad.

• Found a great social and support group of women that does a lot of fun things including Pickleball, Book Club and Bunco. I’ve so enjoyed getting to know and love these women.

• Added two beautiful granddaughters. We all got to celebrate an adoption via Zoom. Thank you Covid!

• *Bought a new car; a Subaru Outback. I love it, even though I only put about 750 miles a month on it.

• *Made trips to Gig Harbor Washington, Florida, Minnesota, Colorado, Nashville and Memphis Tennessee and Greece. I also visited for the first time Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, Mesa Verde National Park and a week with family in Park City UT

• *Going to my third therapist. It’s like finding a good doctor or even a partner. Some just aren’t a good fit.

• *Made some big life changes that I won’t go into detail about, only that it has had an impact on my head, my heart, and my moral compass. Hence, the three therapists.

• *Seen several community plays in addition to professional ones including Beauty and the Beast, Jersey Boys, Les Miserables, Tarzan, The Million Dollar Quartet, Dear Evan Hansen, The Unsinkable Molly Brown, and Little Mermaid. I also visited the Grand Ole Opery and saw Andy Grammer in concert. I love theater probably more than anything. Erin and I are seeing Newsies next week!

• *A few other “firsts” - a hike through Kannara Falls, paddle boarding, kayaking, swimming in a crater, a 40 mile ATV ride to see the Joshua trees, and the best adventure of all - swimming in the clear blue water in Milos, Greece.

• *Watched a lot of movies and TV shows. Like a lot! More than all my lifetime put together Some favorite shows have been Schitt’s Creek, Ted Lasso, The Bear, Bridgerton, and Lincoln Lawyer.

• *Broke my left wrist, sprained my ankle and had cataract surgery on both eyes. I also started wearing a contact in my left eye only.

• *Spent a lot of time with my family - I love watching these 4 granddaughters as they grow and blossom in life.  My favorite title is that of being a Gigi

• *Continued to miss, honor and celebrate Randy in any and every way I can.

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These are not exciting things. Most are pretty mundane things. The last five years have also been filled with grief, loss, anger, regret, and frustration but more importantly with love, joy, fun and perseverance. I hope the next five years includes more travel and time spent with friends and family. I’m still working on getting that blog up and going. So, my dear family and friends….thank you for being part of these last five years, old friends and new. Thank you for always giving me love and support and for grieving with me these last six years without Randy. I’m trying to make the best of my time here. I lost two friends this week, one was 54 and the other was 59. We never know how much time we have here so love and live life to the fullest ❤️