Ten years ago, October 30, 2014 was the longest day of my life, thus far. Randy had seen a neurosurgeon who pretty much knew what he had from the scans but he had to do a biopsy before treatment could start. He submitted the request to the insurance company and we waited. And waited. Randy’s symptoms were getting worse by the day. I called the doctor and he told me I had the option of taking him through the ER to be admitted. I thought, “well heck yeah! That sounds easy.” It

So I did this thing with a little help from my friends. A group of us did a girls weekend which started with a hike through Kanarra Falls in Cedar City. It was about 4.5 miles with a lot of climbing up and off rocks, walking through (cold) water and hiking uphill. A hike alone would be challenging for me since I have no balance on my left side (years and years of nerve damage from a herniated disc.) It indeed was challenging AND that’s with using walking poles. I did fall in

I've heard many people say “I have no regrets in life” or “I try not to have regrets.” I am someone who regrets too many things, things that don’t matter in the big scheme of life, things that I thought were right or that I did my best with at the time, things that I had no control over at the time. This is not healthy by the way but it is normal to have regrets. Brene Brown said, “No regrets doesn't mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live withou

This is from my trip to Greece. I wanted to summarize what these pictures mean. Making new friends and building new relationships has been hard for me in Utah and it has made me miss my friends and family in California, including those who have since moved away (Utah but 5 hours away, Missouri, Texas, Washington, Colorado.) Friendships have always been important to me since grade school. I didn’t ever think I would meet so many amazing people on this trip, if even just to sh

It will be 4 years next month that Randy passed away. This would probably have been fitting to post then but I wanted to share it now. This is super long and I don’t expect most of you to read it. I’m not sure I would if I weren’t a widow. I'm often asked by friends and family and my past two therapists what’s hard about being a widow and it’s just so hard to explain. My situation is somewhat different because I technically lost Randy 5 years before he died. One would think 9

Arizona Supreme Court upholds Latter-day Saint clergy privilege in child abuse case Utah-based church says bishops had no legal obligation in this instance to report abuse Salt Lake Tribune I have to share my feelings on this. I know people see things differently but I personally feel like my head is going to explode over this. I cannot comprehend how the law protects a perpetrator over a child, all so they can “repent.” I would be interested in knowing how many abusers con

This is a half smile and half crying. My daughter gave me this book for my retirement with pictures and messages from people I’ve worked with through the years. I knew they were working on something but I wasn’t sure exactly what. If you wrote a message THANK YOU!!! This is priceless. I seriously cried and laughed for an hour. It made me so thankful for the career I’ve had and the work i was blessed to do. But most importantly it reminded me of how many amazing people I got t