Mi Amigo Eliseo

I'm at the stage of life where I’m losing friends. Like I’m losing them permanently. Some have been expected after a long illness and some have died suddenly. They have all been way too young to leave this earth. But never have I been so shocked about losing someone as I was with this guy. When I read the text from a mutual friend I literally felt like I was going to throw up. I felt like someone gut punched me. I’m sure it’s happened to many others. My reaction was I cried by myself for awhile. Then I texted a friend all evening about him, sharing memories and our overwhelming feelings of sadness, primarily for his daughters, who have already lost their mother. I would have never expected him to die so young, at 63 actually. He took care of his body. He worked out regularly and he was fit! So how could this happen I kept asking myself.

Yesterday I didn’t get together with friends as I usually do on Mondays. I actually never got dressed and pretty much stayed in bed all day, mindlessly scrolling on my phone. I wasn’t sure what else to do. Sal. Actually his name is Eliseo. I loved calling him that because I loved the way it sounded. He told me once that no one called him that except me, and his mother. I supervised Sal in Child Welfare in Kings County. Then he later was promoted to supervisor and we were peers. We worked together for 8 years, but stayed friends after. He would tell people, and me, that I was the best supervisor he ever had. People need to hear those things in the stressful line of work we landed in. And he made sure I knew that. And I made sure he knew how much I appreciated that; he may have been the only one!

The thing that I loved most about Sal was what an amazing husband, father and grandfather he was. He loved his girls so much and they loved him! He was a proud grandpa. He told me once that he really wanted a son but was so grateful to have his three daughters. His first grandchild was a boy and I knew he was loving that! He also was a good son to his parents and loved them dearly. My heart breaks that they have now lost a son.

How can I describe Sal without making this a novel? He was meticulous with everything; his dress, his office, his house and even his car! I have never met anyone who took as much care of their car as he did. He liked things neat and clean. He was also very disciplined. He was straightforward. He was sometimes stubborn and we butted heads a couple of times on work related issues. One argument was loud and in front of staff. Such a big no no. But he was quick to forgive and forget. He had the best laugh. And we laughed a lot.

After I lost Randy he gave me ongoing advice and comfort, which I listened to because he too was a widow. I loved talking to him in Spanish (which I don’t speak). He knew I loved the Hispanic culture so he would go along with it to humor me. I would often translate what I wanted to say to Spanish in our comments back and forth on Facebook. Of the few words I do know in Spanish the ones I used every time with him were “mi amigo.” It’s as simple as that. He was my friend. Thanks Eliseo for being mi amigo. I will cherish our friendship forever 💔